The Meteoric Rise To Becoming An Instagram Influencer – And Other Problems

The Meteoric Rise Of Becoming An Instagram Influencer

I Am Your Leader?

So I thought I would give Instagram a try. Wasn’t really sure what I was going to post but thought being an Instagram Influencer sounded like a pretty good deal.

Now my first post was a picture of some lights I had put up, not much interest to be honest I didn’t really know what I was doing. Now the second post was about Grape Fanta, more over my love for it. Bang I hit the jackpot, now this post was a few months ago and I feel it is no small coincidence that they are now releasing Fanta Grape in the UK this summer. So just two posts to become an Instagram influencer, pretty happy with how that’s gone, just need to know where to pick up my cheque now!

Fanta Grape Coming To The UK Summer 2019
Fanta Grape – Nuff Said!!!

Greed Gets You Flavoured Cola!

While on the subject of soda, I have been drinking quite a lot of sugar-free peach Coca-Cola recently. This has come from work only because no one else wants it, so I am pretty much the only person in the kitchen drinking it. I’m not going to say it’s nice but I have a weakness for fizzy pop, (also jelly beans and Haribo) but that’s about as far as my sweet tooth goes. Point is why fuck with Coke, people like Coke, so just make Coke. The bog wigs then think ‘You know what, let’s add a flavour’ or what not, never works. With all Soda, you have your niche, don’t be greedy. Like Redbull, they make one flavour. Monster energy, ever flavour under the sun, which company do you think makes more money? And anyway, you would think they would have someone taste this stuff before they start selling it.

Coke Zero Peach Another Brilliant Idea
Coke Zero Peach A Lot Like Tinder – I Assume!

Is That Even Sanitary?

Moving on I keep having adverts pop up on my facebook app for the marketplace. Now there is some random crap on there. The thing that got me was the raw chicken breasts. I do work in the foodservice industry and do use nominated butchers who can tell me where the meat came from. Now some guy selling 20 chicken fillets who has taken a picture of them in the box in his back yard… Not so much! Now I just wonder how many chicken products they sell using this kind of marketing. Also what type of person buys their meat off of the Facebook market place. Truly terrifying.

Discount Chicken and sins of our father
Wanna Stay Young Forever? Buy This!

Well, Fucking Thank You!

Finally, there is a special place in Hell for these people. And you will know what I mean. When you go to Amazon at the bottom of a product there are questions asked by people who want to buy the product and generally answered by people who already own the product. Good idea, unless you are the douche bag giving a non-answer. For instance, let’s say it is a ceramic bottom frying pan! Someone asks, will this pan work on an induction hob. Fair question, you don’t want to buy the thing if it doesn’t work on your stove. All you want is a yes on no answer. Then you get the asshole who answer as such “I don’t have an induction hob I only use it on my gas hob and it works fine, sorry I couldn’t be more help”. What do you mean “Couldn’t be more help”, You were no help at all, in fact, the opposite of help. Why do that? Is it the ultimate form of trolling? I don’t know! It hasn’t only fucked the person who asked the question but countless others, and no one else answers the question with a real answer as they see it has a reply and assumes it has been dealt with. Meanwhile, these sick sadistic bastards carry on through life. If that isn’t an argument to bring back public hangings, then well?!?!

amazon question, no need to answer
I Will Track Everyone One Of You Down – Jay And Silent Bob Style

Facebook Comments